After the death of a loved one
Adjusting to the loss of your loved one is often a sad and difficult time for their family and friends, and we extend our sincerest sympathy on your loss.
Our Rockingham General Hospital and Murray District Hospital staff are here to help.
We will also try to assist you with practical information and answer any questions you may have.
What you need to consider
Some matters need to be considered in the short term including:
- contacting a funeral director
- organ and tissue donation considerations
- understanding your initial grief and sense of loss, including that of children.
Other issues can be considered in the days and weeks that follow, including:
- supporting your ongoing wellbeing
- getting the death certificate
- managing your loved one’s estate (some people include this advice in a will)
- notifying service providers.
Some people find it comforting to see their loved one after they have died. This is called a viewing, and it is a personal choice.
Other family members may prefer to view their loved one later at the funeral home.
Unless the coroner needs to be involved (see below), you need to contact the funeral director of your choice as soon as possible to arrange collection of your loved one. '
Read how to find a funeral director (external site).
Until you make plans with your chosen funeral director, the hospital will care for your loved one.
The funeral director will:
- oversee the issuing of the medical certificate of cause of death from the hospital
- work with your family to organise the death certificate and make funeral arrangements.
If your loved one made a will, it may contain instructions about their funeral preferences.
Read about organising a funeral or memorial service (external site).
Hospital post-mortems
On rare occasions a hospital doctor will request a post-mortem (an examination of your loved one’s body) to better understand their condition, rather than determine the cause of death.
This cannot be done without consent from your loved one’s next-of-kin.
Coronial investigations
When a person dies apparently from unnatural causes or where the cause of death is not known, the coroner will be involved in investigating the death.
Your loved one’s death will be discussed with the Office of the State Coroner if:
- medical staff cannot determine the cause of death
- your loved one underwent an operation in the time immediately before death
- your loved one had a significant fall or accident before their death.
A police officer may come to the hospital to inform your family about the coronial process.
Please note that your loved one cannot be moved, including by hospital staff, without the coroner’s consent.
Read more about when a death is referred to the coroner (external site).
A person who has died (a donor) may have chosen to donate their organs or tissues for life-saving transplantation. Read more about organ and tissue donation (Healthy WA).
The way in which a person dies and the diseases they had affects which organs and tissue can be donated. Patients suitable for organ and tissue donation usually die in the Intensive Care Unit and donation is discussed prior to their death.
Even if organ donation is not possible, it may be possible for eye and/or tissue donation to occur.
If you are aware of your loved one’s wish to donate and you have not been approached by our staff, please seek assistance from any member of their treating team.
For any further information your hospital team can request a donor coordinator contact you, immediately if required. You can also contact DonateLife on 1800 950 155.
Please remember your loved one’s medical and nursing staff, as well as a donation specialist, will be available to support and inform you and ensure your loved one’s care, dignity and respect are always maintained.
Grief is a natural response to loss and is a healing process that takes time.
Everyone’s grief is unique and there is no fixed timeline. You may experience a wide range of emotions and feelings, including:
- sadness
- anger
- frustration
- confusion
- fear
- helplessness.
It is normal for grief to be accompanied by a range of physical symptoms including:
- nausea
- tiredness
- loss of appetite
- an inability to concentrate.
The intensity of these symptoms usually declines over time and varies from person to person. Some symptoms may require medical help – if you have concerns, check with your general practitioner (GP).
As you come to terms with your loss, it is important to be accepting and understand that you will likely feel many emotions. This can feel confusing at times but talking about your thoughts and feelings with someone who understands and has offered to listen can be helpful.
Seek a support system that may include family, friends, relatives and support organisations.
Talking with children about loss
Many people hesitate to talk about death with children, but it is important children know that it is ok to talk about it.
What you say about the death of a loved one, and how you say, it depends upon the age and experience of the children involved.
The following tips can be helpful at this time.
- Answer your child’s questions honestly and as simply as possible while being sensitive to their feelings.
- Do not use phrases such as your loved one has ‘gone to sleep’ or ‘gone away’. It is easy for your child to misinterpret what these words mean and this can cause uncertainty and fear.
- Young children may need to ask the same question, and hear the same answers, more than once to begin to understand what has happened.
- Reassure your child that they and other family members cannot ‘catch’ the illness your loved one had.
- If you don’t know the answer to a question, the best response is to say that you don’t know.
- Respect your child’s thoughts and feelings – do not tell them how to act or react.
- Reassure your child that they are loved and will continue to be cared for.
- Ensure as much consistency and continuity in your child’s life as possible. It is important to let your child know that it is okay to play and continue enjoying their daily activities.
- Talking about your loved one can help everyone with their grief. Your loved one was real and not perfect, and it can be helpful to share both good and not-so-good memories of your loved one
- Consider involving your child in planning the funeral. You may wish to encourage your child to make a scrapbook containing photographs or mementos.
Supporting your ongoing wellbeing
After the loss of a loved one it is not unusual to experience personal and family difficulties.
To assist you through the grieving process you may wish to consider talking with:
- your GP
- a qualified counsellor
- a social worker
- a chaplain or your community of faith
- other people who have experienced similar loss
In Western Australia, there are many services to support you in your time of grief (external site).
Getting the death certificate
All deaths need to be registered with Births, Deaths and Marriages within 14 days. For more information:
- talk with your funeral director
- read about applying for a death certificate (external site).
Wills
If you loved one has a will, it may contain instructions about their funeral plans and the management of their estate. Read more about wills and probate (external site).
For more information contact the:
- Public Trustee (external site) or phone 1300 746 116
- Supreme Court (external site) or phone 9421 5333
- Citizen’s Advice Bureau of WA (external site) or phone 9221 5711
- Legal Aid Commission (external site) or phone 1300 650 579.
Organising the funeral
Planning your loved one’s funeral is one of the first tasks you need to manage. Read more about organising a funeral or memorial service (external site).
Notifying service providers
As well as sharing with family and friends the news of your loved one’s death, there are other people, agencies and organisations you may need to notify.
This can include:
- government agencies services such as Centrelink, Medicare and the Department of Veterans Affairs
- banks, insurance and superannuation providers
- utility providers (power, gas, phone)
- property and vehicle licensing agencies
Cancelling or transferring services can take time, but doing it as soon as is practical can help save on account fees and unwanted mail.
Find more aboutwho you may need to notify and how (external site).