Child development 1–2 years

Your toddler now understands they are a completely separate person from you. This may mean they worry about the possibility of you leaving them. It also means they’ll keep repeating ‘me’ and ‘mine’.

Now your baby knows they are an independent person, they’re starting to understand that they can ‘own’ things. Having their ‘own’ way or calling an object ‘mine’ is a way of coming to grips with this exciting and rather frightening new idea.

It is hard to understand what something is unless you also know what it is not, so your toddler may also be into opposites – probably the opposite of whatever you are suggesting at the time!

Although they probably know many words, at this age they still can’t understand abstract concepts.

Your child will often seem to ignore you when you tell them to do something, and need to be distracted, moved away or picked up. Even though they seem to understand ‘no’, they still can’t control their impulses enough to obey.

• Being the parent of an 18 month old can be hard work, physically and mentally.
• Your toddler will be curious and energetic, but they still need a lot of adult attention, and for you to be there for reassurance.
• They will depend on you (their parents) and become very attached. They are likely to be afraid of separation because they still don’t completely understand that you will come back.
• They enjoy playing with an adult and love repetitive games.
• They show interest in other children but usually play alone. Don’t expect them to share things – at this age, toddlers don’t understand the idea of sharing.
• Your toddler will imitate actions and games, such as talking on a toy telephone.
• They may be more cooperative in dressing because they want to imitate adults and ‘do it myself’.
• However, because your toddler wants to ‘get it right’, they may become really frustrated if they can’t manage to do a task.
• Your toddler’s slowly getting better at feeding themselves, but may become choosy about what they eat.

In their second year, your toddler still can’t see the world in perspective. Concepts of time and distance – ‘too fast, too slow, too far’ – are all beyond their grasp.

However, your toddler is working hard at sorting the objects they see into understandable groups. At first, these groups may be quite loose. For example, after seeing and remembering a duck, they’ll say ‘duck’ when they see a chicken because they both have feathers and wings.

Take the time to enjoy and watch your child's powers of observation while they are organising the objects, characters and animals they comes across in their world.

• Your toddler is getting better at remembering – they’re starting to think before they act, such as remembering something is hot. They’ll also remember and copy past events.
• Between 18 months and 2 years, your toddler will get better at recognising similarities and differences in things, and they’ll start sorting things into groups such as cars, blocks or animals.
• Your toddler will also begin to work out what things belong together such as picking out Daddy’s shoes or putting crayons with paper.
• They’ll begin to try matching and fitting, and can do simple puzzles, such as shapes or familiar animals.
• However, they still have very little understanding of time and can’t understand what tomorrow means. Your toddler doesn’t grasp abstract words such as pretty, empty or heavy, and can’t talk about things they can’t see, pick up or touch.
• They also have no real understanding of size and space – they may be frightened of falling down the toilet or the plughole in the bath.

Your toddler’s rapidly increasing movement means you will probably have to reorganise your home. Your child will go from crawling or teetering within a limited space, to walking confidently and exploring widely, pulling open every handle and turning every knob they can see.

Secure or remove heavy or breakable items.

Leave interesting, unbreakable objects where they can reach them.

Be positive

Try to limit using negative words like ‘no’ and ‘don’t’, as they will have a powerful effect on your toddler’s view of themselves and the world. You want to paint a positive picture of a world where many things are possible, not a place where nothing is allowed.

When you need to guide their behaviour, try to suggest alternatives and explain the dangers as simply as you can. By around 15 months, your toddler can:

• push themselves by ‘scooting along’ on a four-wheeled riding toy
• walk alone with feet wide apart and arms held high to maintain balance
• get to their feet using their hands to push up with.

By 2 years, your toddler:

• can get up without using their hands
• will probably be able to run without bumping into things and stop when necessary
• can probably go down stairs while holding on, but will put both feet on each step before moving to the next one
• will be interested in, and capable of, turning knobs and pushing buttons.

Testing ‘how far they can go’ is a part of your toddler’s physical and social life. Try to let them explore freely and safely, but don’t let them run too far. Always let your toddler know that you are there for them to return to.

In the second year, language is a mirror of other changes in development. Your toddler quickly starts to name more of the things in their world, and what they are for. They’ll still want you to say what’s in their head but too hard for them to express – like ‘I want the green cup for my water’.

While the number of words they know is increasing during this year, they’ll get very frustrated because they just can’t say as much as they want to – or because you don’t understand what they’re saying.

Talk to them a lot and repeat what they have said when you reply. Describe things you see together in simple terms, such as ‘Look at the big bus’.

• Your toddler’s speech increases from around 5 to 20 words at 18 months to as many as 150 to 300 words by 2 years. They can understand even more words.
• By 2 years, your toddler can tell you most of what they want with words, like ‘outside’, ‘milk’ or ‘biscuit’, even though they might not always say them properly.
• Your toddler’s sentences will become longer and more accurate– from ‘more’ to ‘want more’ and then ‘I want more’.
• Your toddler can also understand more language, and they can remember 2 things at a time, such as ‘Get the ball and bring it to Daddy’.
• Besides words to say what they want, they’re beginning to learn words about how they feel, such as ‘ow’ when they hurts themselves.
• By 2, your toddler will have enough language skills to tell people what they want them to do – ‘no’ or ‘go away’.
• They may hesitate over some words when excited.

• Your toddler will love to turn knobs and push buttons. This helps them learn to use their muscles and feel they can manage new things. Protect the TV and other tempting equipment, and give them their own toys with knobs and buttons to press.
• They’ll enjoy simple puzzles. (If your toddler loses interest once they can do the puzzle, borrow some from a toy library).
• They’ll like toys that link together, such as trains or stacking toys, hammer and peg sets, and filling and emptying containers.
• Your toddler will love looking at pictures. Name familiar objects and animals with them. Sometimes, let them turn the pages.
• Favourite conversations involve talking about what they’re looking at, doing or feeling. Your toddler learns more words when you chat this way, rather than when you ask questions.
• Avoid questions that you already know the answer to. Instead of asking ‘What’s that?’, you might say ‘Oh, it’s a yummy apple’.
• Play games where they can say ‘no’, such as ‘Is Daddy under the bed?’
• Provide different toys so your toddler can learn about different and same, such as fruit, animals or cars.
• They’ll love to copy you and play ‘house’, such as washing up, playing with toy telephones, dressing dolls, and playing dress up.

Don’t forget to sometimes just let them play on their own, so that they learn to entertain themselves. They will ask for help if they want it.

Every child is different and may develop at different rates. So, if your child does not do some of these things, they may be ‘working’ on a different area of learning and development.

However, children usually follow the same pattern of development, and it’s good to feel that your child is developing normally, in their own unique way.

If you are worried about your child’s development, or if they are very different from other children, talk with your doctor or child health nurse. If there is a problem, it’s better to get help early.